Impact of Grieving on Orphans

Impact of Grieving on Orphans | Initiatives | Training Curriculum | Recent Training Outcomes

Why the Death of Parents is So Hard on Children

No one is more important to children than their parents - this is likely to be true throughout their lives. It is obvious to those who study these matters that the death of a parent is a "loss that lasts forever".

The death of a parent deprives children of the most important relationships they will ever have - relationships that provide them with the genuine love and security they need for becoming strong, productive adults.

Mother is the most important person in the life of an infant. She provides everything a child requires for survival and for early development. She gives nourishment, security, and stimulation. Father becomes important when a child reaches two or three. From that point on both mother and father play critical roles in the life and development of their children.

Children are in some ways dependent upon their parents throughout their lives. They contribute to every aspect of a child's mental, physical, psychological, and social growth. Typically, they lay the foundation upon which children build all these aspects of their lives.

Mothers give children their good start at birth toward healthy physical growth. They are usually the ones who detect what children need physically for health throughout their growing years.

Parents lay the foundation for mental growth because they are the primary teachers in a child's early life. It is from parents that children learn to speak their first words, put words into sentences, and use these sentences to communicate with one another.

They also encourage play by providing toys by which children play together and learn from one another. In addition they provide learning materials such as books, pencils and paper. Good parents play with their children as a way of encouraging learning and building their relationship.

Psychological growth involves children becoming aware of their individuality. This includes the values they hold, the gifts they have to develop, and the skills they have to offer the world of work. Parents provide their children with encouragement, security, and support for the challenges they face in each stage of their lives which makes their psychological growth possible.

Parents have an important role to play in children's social development as well. Children must learn how to communicate with and get along with other children. They learn these skills within the home in interaction with parents and siblings. Within the family children learn to share, resolve conflicts, cooperate with other people, and care for other people. Both father and mother are needed for the child to fully develop these skills and sensitivities. In this way they prepare their children for life in the larger community.

Because of the basic role of parents in the lives of children, the death of parents is typically more distressing for them than the death of any other person.

Although Mother is the central person for most of a child's early years, Father plays a very important and distinctive role in a child's life beginning at a very early age.

In Africa, the AIDS epidemic tends to take fathers first. And usually it is a woman who keeps a child after it has lost both parents.

It is useful to understand the impact of the death of a father specifically because so many fathers have died as a result of the AIDS epidemic. While the role of a father in the lives of children is different from that of mother, understanding the impact of the death of fathers has important implications.

Aspects of Grief

Children who grow up without a father and/or mother tend to be:

Children who experience parental loss typically show one or more of the following symptoms of grief:

Orphaned children are also likely to think differently, such as:

Grief also affects the way children feel emotionally:

Grief can also affect the way children feel physically: